Confessions of a Grown-Up Fangirl

One of the things I’ve loved most about being involved in fandoms is the feeling of family that the majority of us have towards each other. There’s just something very positive about being able to click with someone no matter your race, gender, sexual orientation or preference, religion, etc. – all because you have a common interest in something. It’s one of the best things that I’ve experienced in my life, because there have been times when my fandom friends have been there for me in ways my real life friends have not. Not to say that they weren’t there, but for me, the friends that don’t know me personally sometimes know me better, because I don’t have to put on airs or pretend around them. They get me, all of me, and whether I’m being a sweetheart or whether I’m being a Class A bitch, they will say what needs to be said and move on, without hating me or judging me.

However, one of the things that I have to come hate about fandom is the unnecessary hate and disdain that we have to encounter and endure, most often at the hands of people who don’t (and don’t want to) understand the connection that brings us together. They take something that means the world to a lot of us, and they contaminate it with their immaturity and inhumane behavior.

Couple of cases in point:
1) This week, the HP fandom lost a member of our family. I have never known Ruby, never knew about her until I’d heard from a few friends in the fandom that she passed away this week. Ruby, who had a blog here, was obviously well loved by the people who had a chance to know her, and even those who did not. She was a huge fan of Neville and of the actor who so brilliantly portrays him, Matthew Lewis, and was apparently scheduled to meet him this week before she passed away.

Apparently, some assholes (and I use that word because I can’t think of anything harsher to call them at the moment) have begun leaving very nasty and really uncalled-for comments on her blog, which I’m sure is very distressing to her friends and family. The problem is not that they are leaving the messages, for it is a free country and people are able to say what they want (although the fact that they are saying such nasty and negative things on the blog of someone who can no longer defend herself tells me how far down the humanity chain they have fallen). No, the problem is that they are saying these despicable things, claiming to be Matt Lewis!! (And also his friend, Chris, as well). WHAT THE FUCK????!!!! How sick can you be, to not only put something like what you’ve been saying on her blog, but to also attempt to impersonate someone who 1) admired her and is also feeling her loss, and 2) who would never ever say the gross, disgusting things you’ve said? I’ve been fortunate enough to meet Matt twice; both times at DragonCon in 2007 and 2008, and I have to let it be known that he is one of the nicest, most humble gentleman – not celebrity – I’ve ever met. Even following him on Twitter, he has never come across as one of those “worship me” types of celebrities, and I couldn’t even fathom that sort of bile ever crossing his lips.

Seriously, I hope that whoever this (these) person or persons are, that they grow up and realize that this kind of defamation is not funny, nor is it appreciated. It doesn’t matter that I never knew Ruby, she was a Potter fan, so to me, she was family. And you don’t fuck with family.

2) The next two gripes I have with fandom have to do with the Supernatural fandom, and is part of the reason why I no longer actively participate in this fandom, except for the few friends that I made when I first delved into it.

A few weeks ago, someone apparently posted personal information for one of the show’s stars on LiveJournal and on Facebook. Again, WTF? How dare you post information that could possibly endanger someone else’s well-being! Regardless of how big or small YOU may think that person is, that is still a person who has the right to decide who has access to that information. SO low class, and I hope that person has been caught and dealt with in an appropriate manner.

The second incident happened more recently (as in, within the past 48 hours). Apparently a comedian who shall remain unnamed (so as to not give him more publicity; you can google it if you really want to find it) was in the vicinity of WinCon this weekend (a writers’ convention based around Supernatural), and made some very disparaging comments about the women who were attending to express their love of writing, fanfiction and all things Winchester. His remarks went something like this:

“hotel is FULL of obese women who blog about ghost stories. Feels more like a herd than a conventon. Fat bloggers. Yuck and yuck.”

Why do people feel the need to have to tear down what makes other people happy, simply becuase you don’t understand it? And why the need to insult people who 1) don’t know you, 2) could care less about you? They were there to have a good time, not to please you.

Believe it or not, I could probably tell you a dozen or more similar stories about fandoms and the assholes that come along with them, but for every one asshole story, I could probably tell you ten posive stories about my dealings in fandom. I just may do that in the near future. I just felt the need to address these particular incidents, because they are the ones that triggered my anger tonight. One of these days, the immaturity will end…but until then, I blog.